This is BIG friends and I can’t even begin to describe to you what “this” is quite yet.. because I’m still trying to pull all my ideas into ONE actionable goal!
I can say that there has been a stirring in my heart for over a year and a half now that has lead me to this notion and the creation of that hashtag “Real is Better Than Perfect”. It’s a call to action to all the mamas out there! A call that I hope speaks to your heart just as much as it does mine. One that I hope fills your heart and leaves you with these same warm and fuzzy and “DAMN RIGHT” feelings that I hold every single time I even begin to talk about these little stirrings! It’s calling that is needed right now, more than I ever I think!
Let me back up a bit first though and explain why this is so important this morning. This post is for YOU! It’s to explain just WHY I do what I do as a photographer; and also to give you a little background on a new series I am going to be starting: The Real is Better Than Perfect motherhood series!
There is no other job like motherhood! It is both amazing and crazy all at the same time bound up in these cute little bundle of joy energy packets! It’s a fierce love that will never know an equal and to know this love is to be touched by heaven! When you first become a mama, from the second you even get pregnant, you enter into what I like to call “a secret club”~ only because no one really tells you all the details about it. Maybe that’s because it’s entirely unique to every mother and every child. It might also be because (in my case) no one wanted to burst my motherhood is perfection bubble! Motherhood is perfection but it is not perfect!
All the experiences we go through and all the feelings that we feel, no one could ever dream to come close to understanding unless they are a mama themselves. That one small fact alone is beautiful. It’s a humbling fact and it is one that should unite us and bind us together in a sisterhood of motherhood.
Somehow though, it doesn’t.
Instead, it creates in us this fear: fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of “not being perfect”. All that fear (and believe me there are too many fears to name) I believe creates in us a sense of competition and one-up-ness. Competition isn’t good. It’s not good for anyone but for us mother’s it can create such loneliness and isolation! For this mama it actually created a desperation!
Mamas: why do we do this to ourselves?!
Why do we judge each other so harshly? Why do we feel this need to create this perfect image for everyone to see on the outside, yet on the inside we are secretly hiding the facts that actually might unite us together and help us to laugh at crazy situations motherhood places us in from time to time. Motherhood is hard enough and at some point we have to take a look around and say screw it: if my child is happy and healthy than who cares if I breast feed, bottle feed, cloth diaper, feed them fast food, let them watch cartoons… (fill in your own blank here)
I found that the more openly I talked about our “real” life and my struggles as well as my success as a mama, the more it actually connected me to other mom’s around me! I was amazed that so many other women had the same troubles I had or were working on the same goals I was, or good gosh have said the same crazy words like I have (Linc we do NOT run a nudist colony in our back yard!!)
Actually letting down my guard, dropping my mask of who I thought I needed to be for fear of judgement, led me to feel more confident in myself! It helped me gain more authentic friendships and connect on a deeper level with those around me.
Being real meant freedom!
So this my beautiful mama friends is where I need YOU!!!
There is a big movement right now and call to be “real” on social media, but let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute, how “real” are we truly being?!
I think we are just barely skimming the surface. I think we are still letting the fear of (you name it) hold it’s tight grip over our hearts and get in the way of these amazingly authentic connections we could forge together if we just let go!
My challenge to you is to get really real with at least on mama today! I want you to truly open up about something that has been on your heart that you are scared to share! I promise it’s both freeing and it’s amazing what can happen and the conversation it can spark. Please don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
I’ve shared every topic that I can think of including the one that was so scary for me: my severe postpartum depression after having Linc . I also shared how after not fully addressing the deeper issues it caused that anxiety and depression to re-surface once my husband deployed.
I could have never anticipated that sharing those stories out of the hope that maybe one other mother might read it and not feel so alone, would create so many deep friendships with girlfriends that I never would have met otherwise. It’s crazy because even some of the girlfriends I had before are now closer to me after I revealed the whole story!
So what do you think my mother friend can you get truly real, not this social media real that we are seeing where it’s just a sneak peek real, but nitty gritty real with just one other mama today?!
I think that you can! If you share it over instagram tag me in it.. @kbrooketucker and post it with the hashtag #realisbetterthanperfect.
I’m going to start this new series next week and it’s going to be a home base for real motherhood topics! Some might be silly and some might be questions that I posing to you. There will be other topics and conversations like this one, where it’s just vulnerable and real. I want us to unite and share our knowledge together. We’ve all heard the phrase, “It takes a village”. Let’s be this village!!!
To kick us off, I’m going to disclose my full journey into real motherhood with you and that’s a scary thing for me to publish! Even though that might be scary, I know it’s worth it because in this day and age of social media highlight reels where everything is still pretty darn perfect, I know in my heart this movement of realness needs to happen especially for us mamas.
Let’s get together and unite as a tribe; a sisterhood of mothers if you will instead of growing apart in judgement and comparison.
Will you stand with me friend?
To follow along with me and my little family’s real and authentic adventures, keep up with us on instagram: @kbrooketucker