I had a totally different post in mind for this morning, but sometimes you just gotta roll right?!
I think all the mama’s (and dad’s too, I won’t discriminate) will say a silent amen to what I’ve got going on today!
For the most part, I consider myself a stay at home mom. I LOVE this role. I love spending the day with Lincoln and participating in all his adventures and getting to see his little boy world unravel each and every day. I cherish it. I love waking up with him in the mornings and making his breakfast and sharing our crazy morning conversations. They are some of the best!
I love that some mornings (like this morning) he just wants to snuggle in his bed with me. By snuggling, I mean he wants to a lay in his bed and read books (on a good day) or on a normal day it means he wants to run his excavator up and down mommy’s face.
This is the role I always dreamed I would have and wanted so badly all my life!
Linc does go to school a few days a week. While this makes me sad a bit, he absolutely adores it! He can’t get in the door to his classroom fast enough and he can’t get me OUT of the door fast enough. I usually get a quick “bye, love you” before he slams the door in my face. School is wonderful for him and he gets to participate in some of the most amazing activities that I would never ever dream up!
School also means that I get to come home and actually work at my other job: photographer. I also cherish this role and I love that for a few days out of the week for just a few hours, my clients get my full, undivided attention! This is why I am able to turn over my sessions so fast. It’s why I am able to respond to e mails in less that 24 hours (most of the time) and why I am able to treat my clients like they are my family, because to me they are~!
I LOVE my job as a photographer and I love that I get to be both these roles.
What most people also don’t know about me is that I also teach body flow on the side! Body flow is a yoga, pilates tai chi combination class developed by Les Mills. If you haven’t heard of it or ever taken a class you HAVE to go check it out. It’s an amazing class and if you have ever wanted to try yoga but are a bit afraid to go to an actual yoga class… this is the class for you to try!
I love teaching body flow because it’s another way I can serve people. I also love it because it helps me quiet my mind and gives me a sense of peace and calm. It’s also set to really phenomenal popular music so it’s a place for me to connect to music in a way that reminds me of a time when I used to dance.
I also really pride myself on being big on family and being a good home maker. I know that might sound silly to some but it’s the truth. I may not be suzi home make because let’s face, I’m AWFUL at baking ( I can even mess up the little drop and bake cookies that are in the freezer section something fierce) but I love creating a home that is comfortable for family. One that we can take pride in. I love having family dinners where all of us can come to the table and eat the same meal and talk together about our day. I love creating a home that is neat and cozy. One where Linc can feel safe and comfortable playing and having fun in but also is presentable and welcoming to guests. That’s quite the task when lego’s feel like instant death under your feet.
I cherish all these roles but sometimes they tend to clash with one another! Especially when you are trying to be everything to everyone all the time. It’s impossible and perfection is impossible! As hard as you try, it’s just not there and working harder gets the better of you.
Perfection isn’t even a good thing right?! It’s boring. The flaws are what make us beautiful and interesting. It’s what helps us to connect with one another and makes us endearing to each other. Still though, we all strive for it… and at some point we all fail.
Last night, I failed miserably and I had a mini melt down. I had a toddler melt down actually. It was the laundry room that threw me in.
Anyone with a front loader washing machine will totally understand how I feel on this! I went in to fold what I thought was “clean” laundry and realized they all smelled like mold. UGH BANE OF MY EXISTENCE! Dumb front loader! The thing with those awful machines is if you leave a load in there longer than hour or two, they get this funky moldy smell. Who can be on top of the laundry like that with a family?! WHO!!!
Our laundry has been piling up and I just feel like I can’t get out from underneath it. So this clean laundry stinking just threw me over the top. I melted down after a day of Linc feeling less than perky. A day of tasks that needed to get done being pushed aside for yet another day. I felt buried under all the things I needed to do and I felt like I was failing. I was frustrated and upset and worst of all, I felt embarrassed. I was embarrassed because I couldn’t keep up with the pace I had set and I was letting down all these people I so wanted to please.
I couldn’t be everything I wanted to be to everyone at that moment!
So what happened?!
I woke up this morning and realized it’s just not going to be possible all the time… and that’s OK! No one can be perfect and no one can be everything to everyone EVER! You just do the best you can and laugh at all the other stuff. I’m human and I’m not perfect and I will celebrate all my flaws.
I will let go of the laundry room moldy smell. I will re-wash and laugh about it. I will realize it’s kind of funny that the dog only pees in the house when I’m home with her right after we’ve just spent an hour outside playing. It’s just funny when the neighbor’s cat taunts our big scary pitbull (who is somewhat afraid of that cat) that when she jumps up she spills my coffee all over me onto the only last pair of clean clothes I have (including my bra). So yes if you plan on seeing me today, I will be wearing no bra!
Everything will get done… it just has it’s own time! Some days we all need to allow ourself a moment to breath, drink a little extra coca cola (or your beverage of choice) and enjoy the day!
In light of that I’m going to share with you my laundry room that was just picked up, and my pantry (the pantry that still gives me hives when I think about how awful it is in there.) Give me a shout out if you have rooms in your house that look the same!
And yes that would be a box of Krispy Kreme donuts in the back of the pantry and yes there is still one or two donuts in there. Sad but true!