Happy Monday Friends! I fee like I’m forever writing this same sentence over and over again but here we are…. it’s been a while! Blogging is sort of a hard “thing” for me and I call it a “thing” because I feel like if done correctly it should feel like a living, breathing thing!
I started this blog so I could share my stories with my family and so that I could also share my photography with clients and prospective clients. Also I wanted to have a diary or journal of all these things I could look back on through the years.
What really happened to the blog and why it’s a start again, stop again was…. pressure. The pressure to be perfect! The pressure to find the perfect words or express how I was feeling exactly and eloquently. The pressure to blog consistently but not feeling like I had the “right content” or something interesting enough for the people out there in this weird internet space. So I got stuck… stuck in the fear of perfection. Stuck in this fear of I don’t have anything interesting enough to say today. Has that ever happened to you? Stuck in this fear of what if it’s not good enough? Stuck so you don’t start? Stuck so just don’t try and you let time past? Then when you find something to blog about, you also find that way too much time has passed by so then it just becomes awkward and well then it’s too late to start?!
Yep that’s where I’ve been… stuck, awkward and in this place of just take the first step but then you back up because it’s too awkward and that little leap has become an entire grand canyan of a jump now!
Isn’t it such a shame that we do this to ourselves?! We let fear and awkwardness take over when really we just need to open up and start that conversation!
This world needs us to BE OURSELVES! I think in these times right now we need to go ahead and just BE AWKWARD! Heck I’m awkward all the time 24/7. That’s just who I am! For those of you who really know me or have met me in person, you know I couldn’t be un-awkward if I tried. I’m goofy and weird and accident prone and I snort when I laugh! That’s why my friends stick around half the time! They know I’m good for comedic relief: I’m either going to trip over my own feet, the curb or just plain air sometimes. When I say trip over air, I truly mean it. I can do this weird I don’t understand depth perception thing where I like high step it. It’s like a horse doing dressage. I swear it’s because for a moment I go completely blind. I know it looks hysterical but to me, I’m highly embarrassed but also super impressed at what just happened and how I managed to stay alive.
Anyway… my friends and why they like me: they know I’ll get to laughing and snort out loud and then turn super red! They know I’m super naive so I’ll probably also in this same time frame, say something highly inappropriate without realizing it and everyone can laugh while I slowly catch up on the joke!
These are the qualities that the world needs from ME. I’m also really empathetic and kind to a fault. I can’t watch tv or commercials or shows without truly feeling what other people feel. It’s a blessing to those who know me and also a curse. When I say I FEEL what other’s feel, I mean I truly feel it deep down inside and out. When a tv commercial comes on or I’m watching a tv show that shows someone going through a hard time… I will feel it to an infinity degree. I will cry for days or weeks non stop because I can’t help but think about it. Ya’ll it could be a silly commercial but I will feel it to my core. I place myself in someone else’s shoes like no other. This is also what the world needs from me! We all have our gifts, this is one of mine.
So why am I telling you all this?! Because I want to start this blog again and I want to do it right! I want to SHARE… and I want to share all of it… perfect or not.
I want to share my photography with you, and boy do I have some plans for that this year! I have a passion project that I can’t wait to start sharing and creating! This comes straight from heart and soul. This is a project that I know is a big part of how I fit into this world. Something I know is part of my story and why I’ve had the experiences I’ve had. This project/this story has lived inside me for sometime. It’s almost like I have two heartbeats… and this one, this story, it lives and breathes and needs to get it! Now is the time! I seriously can’t wait to begin!
I want to share my life with you! I want to share it with my family that lives away from Virginia Beach and keep them up to date! I want to be real and raw and just share our life! I have a pretty cool, unique and wild kiddo. He has ADHD and anxiety and I feel like we have gained a lot of knowledge this past year through homeschooling. Sometimes parenting can be exhausting and sometimes it can be amazing. Most times it’s a bit of both. It can also feel pretty lonely when your advocating for child all the time. Or trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t, especially when you have an impulsive kiddo trying to figure out boundaries. I want you to know that hey… we are doing the same thing! We are all in this together!
So… here we are again! I’m back and I’m trying this again. This time I’m trying to let go of all that fear of perfection. I’m trying to let go of what had me stuck before… and I’m just writing! I’m just going to take that giant leap…. and let’s go for it together! Let’s see where we land. Hopefully it’s on the other side… together with some really good authentic conversations sprinkled in with some pretty photos and a cool project in the middle!