Real Is Better Than Perfect Series

Living On Purpose

May 23, 2018

florida child and family photographer brooke tucker

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It’s been a long while since I have intentionally sat down at my desk and sought out to write a blog post!  I don’t know why, but this space right here just hasn’t really felt like home, at least not until recently.

At the beginning of the year I set an intention:  I chose my word for the year but I wanted to take it a step further and bring that word into my blog space!  I wanted to make sure that what I was blogging was helpful.  I wanted to make sure that what I was blogging was a home base for my clients.  I wanted to make sure that what I was blogging honored that word that I chose: unconditional love!

So, to be truthful:  over these past few months although our little family of three has been busy and I’ve been out there behind the lens of my camera:  I just haven’t felt like I’ve had much to share that fit well within those boundaries.  And you know what friends?  I think that is totally OK!  I think it’s absolutely fine to sometimes just take a step back and ENJOY LIFE!  I think it’s OK to reflect on life and just live it!

Sometimes in this world of social media and blogging we feel pressured ( I know I do at least) to keep up, to show up, to just get it done and post no matter what day after day,  but if I’m really honest with myself, is that even really worth it? I think it’s more draining than it is productive and I think sometimes it’s even overwhelming for you guys out there, especially if what’s being posted isn’t authentic or meaningful or helpful.

So I’m on the side that feels like it’s good every once in a while to take a break and just BE, and that’s what we’ve been doing over here in our little corner of the world!

We’ve been living on purpose as Lara Casey says and just enjoying the time together!

In fact, I think that’s the biggest take away I’ve learned from this little hiatus:  LIVE ON PURPOSE and not just by chance or accident or by circumstance.

So many days would go by for me where I would wake up in the morning with the intention to be present and mindful but then as the day would go on, I would wind up getting caught up and overwhelmed by the “to do list” that I would live through the day going through the motions without actually being present at all.  Does that ever happen to you?

It was this mindset of just get through A-Z so I could enjoy such and such but never really enjoying anything let alone that such and such I kept trying to get towards.

This left me feeling exhausted, stressed, having little patience and worried!  That is no way to live.  I found myself frustrated when I was with Linc and often yelling (ugh which I hate.  I don’t want to be that mom).  I found myself always tired at the end of the day and ready for bed when Linc was in bed which left no time to hang out with my husband.  My sleep was restless and I would wake up multiple times during the night with worry or remembering things I needed to write down for my next day’s task list.  Then I would start it all over again the next day.  It was a vicious cycle.

Ugh, it had to stop.

So I decided to just take a break.  I took to my goal sheets and I figured out what I needed to do FOR MYSELF, self care wise to stop this mad cycle of craziness.  And I found what worked for me:

  • Personal Development:  I find that when I need to get my mind right or get out of stress, it always goes back to personal development!  Strong mind, Strong Life!
  • Shake Up the Workout:  I love 80 Day Obsession but I need to re-work my goals and put them in a place where I can see them.  I also need to shake up that routine so I’m excited about something new!  I also found that even though sometimes it’s super hard to get motivated to work out, I had to go FIND the motivation BY working out.  I know it sounds weird but it’s the darn truth.  Working out, even if it’s just a walk around the block, gives you energy and changes your perspective!  It can help you feel more positive!  So even when you feel yourself lacking motivation, if you can just muster up the FIRST STEP, motivation to continue will find YOU along the way!  Then the benefits will follow:  improved mood, improved energy, clear mindset etc!
  • Cultivate GRATITUDE:  Gratitude Changes EVERYTHING!  Gratitude is a muscle that needs to be worked and the best way to do that is to sit down and make time for it!  Finding gratitude each day helped me feel more positive and positivity is not something any of us are naturally born with.  You have to work at it, you have to breathe it and see it and look for it and one of the best tools to help you do that is gratitude!
  • Shutting off the TV!  Yes!!!  So this was a happy accident actually.  Linc lost tv privileges and we all benefited.  His attitude changed and he was much calmer and more pleasant to be around.  We spent more time together actually doing things and we were all more present and intentional with our time together!  I realized how much noise is actually in our house on a daily basis and I can’t believe we all don’t go crazy from it!
  • Getting Creative:  Camera, Chalk art, Painting, Coloring… you name it as long as I could tap into that right side of my brain, the creative side, and bonus I get to do something incredibly fun and usually messy with Linc!  Lately we’ve been trying acryllic pouring or water gun water color painting!  He’s also really been loving the weather so we’ve been drawing outside with sidewalk chalk!  It’s a good thing our neighbors love him!
  • Going Back to the Earth:  Earlier this year I wanted to grow a garden with Linc, but then we brought home a puppy and that plan sort of went out the window!  Plus, to be fair I kill just about every plant I try to bring home!  So instead of the raised garden boxes I initially planned out (and drew to scale with measurements) we bought some baby pineapples for our front porch and when school gets out I think we might go grab some tomato plants that we can keep on the side yard.  There’s something humbling and also grounding about just getting your hands in the dirt and soil.  A friend of mine once told that whenever Linc felt “off” or just needed a reset, I should just take him outside and let him plant his feet in the ground!  So that’s what I think we both need to do more of this summer:  get ourselves back to the ground, get dirty, be outside!  Less social media, less electronics, less indoors!  More outdoor adventures, more mud pies, more puddles, more planting and cultivating things that grow!

 

These are the things that I have found ground ME!  These are the things that help ME come back to patience, intentional living and remembering to SLOW DOWN!

I also remember WHY I do the things that I do and that’s so that I can spend time living on purpose with my family;  creating memories, carving out a loving legacy, and a life giving home!  So what helps my family:

  • Family Bucket Lists:  This was something I started in January and we’ve been holding strong with these ever since.  Some months there are just small activities, little dates we celebrate, and small outings. Other months there are big celebrations, bigger adventures, and our lists are jam packed!  Whatever the month might hold big or small, I have found that it’s something we can look forward to as a family when we find ourselves getting caught up in the day to day stresses.  It something that we can look to when we need something to get all of us out of the house!  It might bring something extra-ordinary or a little bit of magic to what otherwise would be just an ordinary day!
  • Family Game Night/ Movie Night:  Recently we’ve been playing a lot of games with Linc and not just regular games but strategy games and I hate to admit this, he’s better than I am.  We have a favorite right now called Race to the Treasure.  It’s a cooperative game which is great because we are all a little to competitive for our own good, Linc being one of the worst!  This game allows us all to be on the same team and work towards the same goal:  beat the Ogre to the treasure by creating a path to the 3 keys and then finally the treasure chest.  Sadly, I require the most help, not the 5 year old!  Linc loves this because we are all on the floor, at his level, engaged and fully attentive and present with him!  It doesn’t matter WHAT we are doing, all that matters is that we are with him 100%.  Movies are another big ticket item for him.  We all love movies but he’s really starting to understand story lines and plots and he feels very “big and brave” when he gets to watch a movie that might be “a little bit scary” which in our terms means it has some action in it and real people.  All the movies he has seen right now that he considers his favorite are based off book series which just makes my heart sing because I know pretty soon we can start reading those at bedtime!
  • Family Meal Times:  This one is pretty important to me and it’s a part of my bigger goal this year which is to create a Life Giving Home for my boys!  I STRIVE to have family meals at the table, without media at least 3 times a week.  Does it happen all the time?  NO!  Have we had a perfect week since January?  Nope!  Does that matter? Nope!  I am taking heart that small steps equal progress and that eventually we will get there!  My family always ate at the table together and we had some great conversations.  We did have the TV on and it was usually the news but it always ended up as background noise!  I’m hopeful that we can get there with Linc.  I’m just proud he can sit at the table with us and hold his own until we excuse him!  Hey celebrate progress where you can right!
  • Bedtime Blessings:  I always want Linc to go to bed filled with positive thoughts!  No matter the temper of the day, no matter what happened, no matter what was said or done… I want him to know ALWAYS that he is loved, that he was prayed for, that he is a good boy, that he can make good choices, that he is strong etc!  So each night after we read books as a family, I make sure that we do a bedtime blessing where we just talk about the day and then at the end of that talk I tell him all those things and let him know that just as Anne of Green Gables says tomorrow is a new day, fresh!

So that’s where we’ve been!

We’ve been celebrating birthdays, graduations fro pre-k, mother’s day and other holidays.  We’ve been hanging around the house trying to break free from all this rain and we’ve been going out on adventures when the suns been shining!  We are getting ready for summer little by little and planning our summer bucket list!

Bust mostly, I’ve been just taking a little break to live on purpose!

florida child and family photographer brooke tucker

 

 

 

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