This is a hard series for me to really start! It makes me nervous! This is my real story. My very real and very personal story. A story I haven’t even shared with some of my closest friends for fear that I might be judged or viewed differently.
But that’s just it friends! This is exactly the kind of story that needs to be shared. How will anyone ever truly understand why Children and Family portraits are so important to me? How will anyone truly understand why The Lifetime Experience has my heart so fully?
How will anyone truly understand who I am? What makes me me… as a person, a mom and a photographer?!
We share our stories so that we can relate to one another and my story, well it’s raw, it’s not for the weak or those who just want a funny story or a light story. If that’s what you are after then now is your chance to click on a new site!!!
I always want my blog to be a happy place and an uplifting place. Let’s face it, I’m awkward and silly! My family is awkward and silly!
But.. sometimes, you gotta get real… and our real lives aren’t always awkward and silly! We have real moments and those are our teaching moments!
My story is one that if it can help just one other mom out there… then it’s worth feeling nervous or uncomfortable.
In order to tell it though, I have to go back to the beginning!
I used to work at our local Children’s Hospital as a Child Life Specialist. If you aren’t quite sure what that is, check it out here because it was a job that I loved dearly and is so unique and so amazing!
During my time at CHKD, I was able to experience all kinds of patients and families. That was probably one of the best things about our children’s hospital. You were trained on all floors and all units where Child Life had a presence; and I was eager to fill in wherever I was needed on top of my regular unit.
My parents always knew I would work with children! My mom tells me that even when I was younger, small children would talk to me in line at the grocery store, on the street or anywhere out in public. No matter where we were, my mom said she would always see me taking care of children smaller than myself! They weren’t surprised when I came home to work at the local children’s hospital.
They also weren’t surprised that being a mom was the only one true thing I ever wanted for myself!
After working for a few years at CHKD, a good friend and nurse set me up on a blind date! Enter Tuck!!! Tuck and I met and we both knew pretty early that we were the ones for each other! He wanted children right away and we both agreed a big family was in store for us. I wanted 5 kids (yes you read that right!!! 5!!!) and Tuck couldn’t wait to get started as soon as we were married!
Neither of us expected actually getting pregnant to be quite as challenging as it actually was.
2 Miscarriages later and still negative pregnancy tests each month, a year later we were both somewhat defeated.
At this point, Tuck and I decided that working at the children’s hospital had become too emotional for me so I had left that job and moved on to what I thought was going to be a happier position teaching children positive character traits through literacy at an organization who’s mission was to break the cycle of homelessness.
That job just pulled at my heart strings in another way! A beautiful way… but it still pulled!
Tuck and I finally got to a point where we had decided to just “take a break” on the whole getting pregnant thing. We figured it just wasn’t the right time and we needed to breathe a little bit. When the time was right, it would work out but for now, we would just focus on a few races he wanted to do and I would work and pursue body flow training. Little did we know that of course… timing is everything. Once you let go.. things just happen. About a month later, we found out we were pregnant!!!
We were ecstatic! I think I took a million pregnancy tests just to confirm!!! Could this really be real?!
We were hesitant that first month and keeping secrets is soo hard for me… but I was bursting with joy! I’m pretty sure anyone that saw me knew right away! I had that “glow”… it really does exist!
I was feeling great that first trimester… no sickness just a little shaky in the mornings! Our plan was to keep it a secret until the second trimester… just to make sure everything was OK… like most people~! However, little Linc had other plans! Sooo many other little plans!