Imposter Syndrome And How to Kick it to the Curb!
On any given day this little sneaky thing called imposter syndrome can sneak in and take hold of you! At least it does for me! It worms it’s way into the back of your mind and tells you that the thing you want to do, that big dream you have, the passion you are living out and working so hard for… well you aren’t good enough to do those things! YOU don’t belong there! You aren’t qualified, good enough, smart enough… you just AREN’T… and just like the snap of your fingers, it now has it’s hooks in you!
Does that sound familiar to you?
On a good day, I wake up ready to tackle my to do list! On a good day, I am creative and smart and know my worth and value!
On a tough day, imposter syndrome creeps in and tells me that all my ideas are stupid. That they’ve been done before. I begin to play the comparison game.
On a good day, I look at my images and realize that I have something special! I’ve worked hard to create something unique that no one else can bring to the table. That my photography is truly something that comes from my heart and no one else can replicate that!
On a tough day, imposter syndrome has me pick every tiny image apart! I start to look at other’s who are farther along on their journey and compare years and years of experience with my messy middle. I think that it must be so easy for her so what am I doing wrong?!
On a good day, I know my goals. I have steps and actions and feel strong and confident.
On a tough day, I have lost my way. My goals seem far too big and I can’t seem to take a step forward.
THIS is what imposter syndrome does. It tricks you into thinking YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH!
So what’s the solution?
We are all going to feel this way some time or another! We are human! All I know is that I can’t allow myself to get stuck in the suck! Yep I said it: Don’t let yourself get stuck in the SUCK of imposter syndrome!
Here are 3 suggestions that are helping me and I hope can help you too!
- REALIZE YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AN EXPERT!
- No one is looking at you to have all the answers. In fact, the experts out there or the ones that you think are experts aren’t even looking at you! But can I tell you who is: someone who was just like you or who is you in this exact season! So stop believing that in order to start you have to be all knowing! Just start and speak to the person you were and who you are now and try to help them! YOU ARE A WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE! Why? Because you have made steps along this journey. You have made mistakes and had success. Share that! Someone out there is a few steps behind you and that first hand knowledge is valuable to them!
- FIND YOUR PEOPLE:
- There are people in your life that love and support you. There are people out there that want to love and support you. FIND THEM! Find them and love them hard. Find them and surround yourself with them. That saying “It takes a village”, it’s not just for raising our babies. It takes a tribe, friend! We are going to FAIL! The most successful people fail and do it often. You know what cushions that landing?! Your tribe! We need each other and when we help each other amazing things can happen. Lean on those that love you when you feel like you are weary, when you feel those thoughts creep in. Be that pillar when someone else begins to feel like they aren’t enough! Sometimes it takes another person to show us that the BIG SCARY GOAL we are trying to reach is only a few steps away!
- FIND YOUR JOY/ LEAVE BEHIND THE COMPARISON:
- Comparison is the thief of joy! In the photography world it is so easy to get caught up scrolling instagram and say my photos don’t look like hers. She is booking more than I am so she must be more successful. She is doing… fill in the blank of your choice because we could keep going.
- At the retreat I just photographed the amazing Julie Voris spoke and among many things she said that struck a chord with me, she said this phrase: “Good for her/them, not for me!” I came home and wrote it on a post-it note and stuck that thing right on my laptop! When you read that phrase: good for her, not for me, I want you to read it gently. It’s meant to be a congratulatory saying! For me, it’s to put a stop to that ugly comparison game I play in my head.
- Instead of scrolling and saying, oh man she is on top of things, posting all the time, and she is booked solid! I SUCK! I now say… That’s great for her… not for me right now. Right now I am focused on my goals. I may not be growing as fast this season but I’m growing joyfully! Don’t let comparison and imposter syndrome rob you of the joy that made you want to START in the first place!
At times, we all feel like we struggling and on the outside of our chosen craft or passion. It’s part of being human!~. It’s part of doing something that is BIG!
But I’m starting to realize that we don’t have to let it rule us. We don’t have to let it guide us or de-rail us! I’ve done it for way too long now. I almost let this imposter syndrome state of mind push me to a place where I gave up on photography all together. And wouldn’t that be a shame?! Wouldn’t it be a shame if the the thing that I was supposed to be doing all along, this passion, was lost all because of a little self doubt?!
So I think we just say to ourselves today I will move! Today I will move beyond imposter syndrome into a mindset of joy and community and helping! Today I will give myself grace and move to do one thing to move forward on my journey!
We can do it together friend! In fact, WHY NOT DO IT TOGETHER?
If you want, drop me an e mail and we can be accountability buddies! Success partners! We can form our own tribe to help each other get rid of this imposter syndrome in our lives.
